you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
