I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
