Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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