Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
