you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
