She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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