Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
