Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
did i walk over a car last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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