I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
