I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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