can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
