I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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