no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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