it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
