ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
