i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
