no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
