you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
