Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
