That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
