You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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