I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
