One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
