I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize