i jhust puked up my retainher.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
