Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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