Me too!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
