I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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