you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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