i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
