They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
