I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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