"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
