Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
