k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
