R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
