Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
