did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the day after is always just damage control
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize