The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think your dad took our porno
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
