he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
