I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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