I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
