Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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