Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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