That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
