i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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