he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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