Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
