I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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