HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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