So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
