Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize