speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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