Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
