oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize