I hate your face
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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