I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
