he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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