Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
