Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
