Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
