The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
