If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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