Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
