My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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