i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
