omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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