The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have post one night stand depression
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
