I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize