so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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