Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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