gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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