we have pet lesbian snakes
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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