please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
