Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
