Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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