Non-Jews are for practice
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
