is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
