Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
